i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize