FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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