we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
porn star boner night. come get it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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