I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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