i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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