Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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