so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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