i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize