im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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