and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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