what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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