I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
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At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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