So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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