I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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