I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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