$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
this hospital has no fireball
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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