What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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