party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize