I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize