its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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