shes about as inviting as chlamydia
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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