Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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