your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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