He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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