really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Come on in and take your pants off
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