pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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