am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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