She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize