They should really pass out barf bags in church
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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