I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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