haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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