i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize