i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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