My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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