I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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