You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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