then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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