I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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