I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
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and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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