I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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