You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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