We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Farmville is her only friend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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