when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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