Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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