Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize