i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my being single is dangerous.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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