I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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