Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize