I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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