Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ketchup is God's man juice
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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